Coaching Mantra's

A quick google search reveals that a mantra is a statement or slogan that is often repeated. Delving into the etymology I discovered this sanskrit word literally means the thought behind speech or action. In a recent webinar a panelist shared her coaching mantra’s and it really got me thinking about my own. What are those coaching slogan’s I say to myself and to others during coaching conversations? After some reflection I noticed that the four phrases that guide my coaching practice are:

Connect Before you Correct

As social beings we all want to be seen, valued and known. Knowing the personal preferences, anecdotes and eccentricities of others builds understanding and empathy. When we learn about others it broadens our lives and often teaches us more about ourselves. Connection is vital to both communication and relationship building and relationship building is foundational to both coaching and leadership. We can not effectively lead or coach people without connecting with them. So before we seek to enhance a teacher’s practice it’s critical that we see them and value all that they bring to the table. 

Presume Positive Intent

The second mantra connects well to the first.  Presuming positive intent means believing the best about people. I first encountered this idea in Kathy Kee’s Result’s Coaching training. It resonated with my core value of fairness.  It reminds us to not take things personally and that not everything is about us (an increasingly challenging skill in the age of social media and hyperindividualism and my own position as an only child!)  As an instructional leader presuming positive intent builds a healthy climate that allows learning and growth to take place because it creates safety. When a pattern of presuming positive intent is established then people feel safe to try new things in a judgement free zone. 

Focus on your Circle of Control &  Influence

There are things out of control,  things we can influence and things we can control. Wisdom advises that we name and focus on the things we can influence or control. There will always be barriers to our change and impact, these things are out of our control. They can be triggering and we may need to vent in order to process and move forward. The majority of our effort should go toward naming things we can influence and control. Naming these things provides focus, clarity and empowerment. It frees us to let go of the things out of our control.

Reframe Success

Reframing success is the action item that accompanies focusing on our circle of control and influence. After we have gained clarity on what we can actually do it is essential to reframe success in light of our current reality. Now that I realize I can’t control whether or not teachers read my weekly newsletter I can reframe success as my goal is to provide multiple modes for teachers to receive information. This may be a newsletter, a letter in their box and a posted newsletter near the sink in the teacher’s lounge. By framing success around what I control and influence I am a bit more free of having my success determined by others. Education is a service oriented field and we want to effect change, rightfully so. Yet, we don’t have absolute control and often the change we want involves the participation of others. I often say to our coaches that some of our success is wrapped up in the success of others. It is essential that goal achievement be framed and reframed considering current reality, much light setting a SMART goal. Reframing success considers multiple factors in order to land on success criteria that is attainable.

Honing in on my coaching mantra’s helped reflect on what I believe is most important about coaching and leading. It’s a grounding exercise that refocused and reenergized me to finish the school year strong, remaining true to the ideals that matter most.